well, the absolute worst thing happened. josh got sick very suddenly & he didn’t get better. in fact, he seemed to get worse by the hour. when there was no coming back, i had to make the decision to pull the plug. i did it while my favorite song of his was playing & tons of loved ones filled the room. it was horrible. seeing someone die is fucking horrible. when that someone is your favorite person to ever exist, the pain is indescribable.
just days before the nightmare began, josh was doing better than ever. sure, he had ALS. that may have kept him from being mobile &
communicating normally, but he felt great. nothing stopped this guy. he had big plans for the future & a lust for life. he never suffered.
that’s something that i want to make crystal clear. josh was happier than all of us. we spent his last days on this side of life listening to vinyl, laughing, dancing, talking & just plain living. every day with him was a good day. even when he was being an asshole, he was still my favorite asshole.
there’s no way i could ever put into words how i feel about josh, so it’s probably best if i keep this short. i’m going to spend the rest of my life trying to make him proud of me. i feel so special that he chose me to be his. it’s really the greatest honor of my life. some people never experience true love, but i was given the deepest & truest love by josh. despite everything we went through, the magic was never lost. i would do it all over again.
universe, thank you for sending joshy to me. also, fuck you for trying to take him away. joke’s on you though. soul mates are together
yes, that’s a cardboard cutout of josh. yes, i’m insane.